Shaving Cream

{loadposition ShavingCream}

I have a sad story to tell you

It may hurt your feelings a bit

Last night when I walked into my bathroom

I stepped in a pile of …

Chorus (repeat after every verse):


Shaving cream, be nice and clean.


Shave everyday and you’ll always look keen.

I think I’ll break off with my girlfriend

Her antics are queer I’ll admit


Each time I say, ‘Darling, I love you’

She tells me that I’m full of …

Our baby fell out of the window


You’d think that her head would be split

But good luck was with her that morning

She fell in a barrel of …

An old lady died in a bathtub

She died from a terrible fit


In order to fulfill her wishes

She was buried in six feet of …

When I was in France with the army

One day I looked into my kit


I thought I would find me a sandwich

But the darn thing was loaded with …

And now, folks, my story is ended

I think it is time I should quit


If any of you feel offended


Stick your head in a barrel of …

Many more verses…


Our leader says Clean is a virtue,


On his face you will see not one zit.


Instead of washing with soap and hot water,

He scrubs with a handful of …

Last Saturday I went out hiking,


I like to keep physically fit,


But when I stopped for a rest break,

My boots were all covered with …

Let’s have a cheer for the camp staff,

They’re definitely our favorite!

But, every night at the campfire

They lead us and sing just like …

I thought I would make me some tie-dyes

And bought lots of colors for it.


But after I dyed all my T-shirts


They all were the color of …

Our leader made us all breakfast


I asked him what food was in it.


He laughed as he gave me a spoonful

And said it was rice, beans, and …

Our 4th day of hiking at Philmont


We were dehydrated a bit


We’d heard that Ponil had cold root beer

But all that they gave us was…

We’d all just descended Mt. Baldy

Our stomachs a bottomless pit

We just wanted Probars and jerky

But Baldy Town made us do …

While hiking, Joe spotted a black bear

He screamed like a girl cause of it


It left but Joe looked quite embarrassed

Then we noticed his pants filled with…

I asked to come out and play baseball

I’d just bought a new catchers mitt;


I asked you to throw me a fastball


but you threw me a big lump of …

Once while I was at the ball game,

The batter smashed out a hit.


But while he was running for second,

He slipped in a big pile of …

Last night we all had a big snowstorm,

And it’s time to shovel, isn’t it?


The only good thing about snow is,

It’s better than shoveling …